Striding: Moving Into Our Purpose

Spring of 2017

We made a bold decision this month

A decision for our family. An important one for our son. A huge career shift for me. We are moving. It’s not been an easy one to make but definitely the right one. Striding lead us here. Striding means to walk with long decisive steps into a specified direction. That pretty much sums up our life over the last several years.

Over the last 15 years our NC life has been filled with love and laughter. We have built lasting friendships with great friends that have become family. Our son has bonded with other adopted children and through my work has met adult adoptee’s like Rhonda Roorda who have inspired him to share his own adoption story. We found a church that helped our son grow his faith. We have spent many years here with our family sharing traditions and raising our children together. We have built a life here and it’s been good.

Our sweet home for the last 14 years.

Getting updated immunization for his new school in FL.

Striding for Our Son

Being multiracial in our area can be hard. As our son has grown older, we are finding that living in an area that is demographically lacking in diversity is not the best for him. When you have a family that looks the same you don’t have to constantly justify that you are a family. In my post “The New South” I talk a great deal about some of the tough moments we have experienced as a family here in North Carolina. Moments like my husband being confused as our son’s case worker rather than his daddy. Or times when my husband and I have had to navigate tough conversations with our son about being called the N-Word, police brutality, and why people stare at us. Over the last 2 years hubby and I have engaged in deep conversations about our desire for him to experience many different people from all around the world. That is why we have traveled to many countries with our little guy. We wanted him to know the world is big and full of different kinds of people. What we realized is that we want him to have the rich diversity we had growing up. For us to give him that meant we needed to relocate.

Striding for Our Marriage

I’d like to think that anyone who spends time with us knows that we love each other deeply. It’s hard when some in your community don’t embrace that. We knew when we got married we would face adversity. I would argue the many multiracial relationships do. Being a multiracial couple has its challenges. The part of the country you live in can influence that greatly. Many have made assumptions that we weren’t together. We are typically offered separate checks at dinner and struggle with the million stares we get when we are out around town. I’m not saying the relocation will fix the experiences we have had as a couple, but having less of it would be amazing. The bottom line is that we want to live in spaces that make us feel less like unicorns and more like a loving couple. We are also keenly aware that in order for the South to change, families like ours need to be visible within the community. Which is why we aren’t leaving the South.

Striding into Purpose

Since November of 2017, God has positioned very specific people to lead me in this new direction. It started with a 2-hour conversation with a mentor that lead to this site being created and has recently exploded into what I now know to be my purpose. So what is my purpose? It’s pretty simple really. My purpose is to use my experience, story, and platform to help other adoptive/ multiracial families thrive. I’m now striding in my purpose and that is why I know it is time to go. I’m just so excited that my purpose is also positioning me to move my family to an area with more diversity and opportunities. That it is taking us closer to my sister, her family, and a new church that I have admired for a while. I’m ready to lead in purpose.

My talented dear hubby has also stepped into his purpose. In the summer he will return to school to complete a degree in Environmental Science at Penn State. Relocating will give him access to opportunities to serve the community and planet. His passion in caring for the planet has influenced our son who believes daddy is a hero. His new position as a Campaign Manager has placed him in the center of a national debate on what our role should be in caring for the planet. Stay tuned and watch this guy change the world!

“And suddenly you know...its time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings”

A Final Thought…

I have LOVED my job here in NC. Leading a great team that supports families in the post reunification and adoption realm has taught me so much about leading with grace and empowering others to lead. If I’m being honest, my purpose has always been in adoption. I was telling friends just the other day that my love for adoptive families came way before I was an adopted mom. The work came first then the baby. The exceptional training's I have received like The Adoption Competency Training and Learning to Lead have prepared me for my new role as Director of Adoption Services in Tampa Florida.  Opportunities to lead initiatives through the QIC-AG have put me in the same room with great influencers like Dr. Bruce Perry who recently interviewed with Oprah about the impact of childhood trauma on the brain. To say I have been granted amazing opportunities is not enough. What I know now is that I have been striding. Striding lead me here. God has lead me to take long decisive steps into a future that I could never have dreamt up for myself or for my family.

My First Podcast Interview - Multiracial Family Man

Mi gente! I'm really excited to let you know that I was just interviewed on the Multiracial Family Man podcast to discuss my Afro-Latina experience, our multiracial life in the South, and our transracial adoption. It was great fun!!!! I think I over shared a bit, but I’m glad I did. A million thanks to Alex for being a wonderful host! 

You can find the podcast on any of the links below:

iTunes
Libsyn Podcast Network
Stitcher 

Excerpt from the Multiracial Family Man Site: 

"Ep. 158: Ligia Cushman is an Afro-Latina with Dominican roots who grew up in New York City. She is married to a White man, and together they have a multiracial son, whom they adopted. Ligia and her family live in the South, where she is an active advocate in the adoption space.

Listen as she talks to Alex about her Multiracial experience, her views on race and adoption, and how Multiracial experience differs from North to South."

For more on host, Alex Barnett, please check out his website: www.alexbarnettcomic.com or visit him on Facebook or on Twitter.

To subscribe to the Multiracial Family Man, please click here: MULTIRACIAL FAMILY MAN PODCAST

Striding: 5 things I Learned At Harvard

I had the honor to be given a sponsorship by Harvard Latina's to attend their Latinas Unida LEAD Conference. It was not only my 1st time at the conference but my first time at Harvard and needless to say I was extremely excited!! As an added bonus one of my dearest amiga, Melissa, joined me on this amazing journey. This experience changed my life and influenced my career forever. 

I wanted to take some time to share the top five things I learned while at Harvard. 

Eliana Murillo delivering the Keynote address.

I was impressed by the large representation of Latina's and their supporters in the room.

1. Be Rooted in Gratitude - Eliana Murillo does amazing work in fostering diversity in communities and business as the founder of Multicultural Marketing at Google. She uses her platform to advocate for minorities in the work place. Her advice was simple, "Always be rooted in gratitude." She shared that many of us in the room were the daughters of immigrants. Our parents gave up everything to give us the life we have here in America. We need to be grateful for the life and opportunities we have been afforded. She talked about how having a spirit of gratitude has kept her humble and reminded her that being thankful meant that we had to also fulfill ourselves outside of work. Being grateful means that we remember what all the sacrifice and hard work is for. To feel fulfilled in and out of work. 

2. Network Across Not Just Up - I had the honor to meet Roxanna Sarimento the COO of We All Grow Latina Network. She was probably my favorite speaker of the entire event. A Dominicana of humble upbringing, her advice was powerful. She mentioned that often times professional Latinas are eager to network up believing that this will move them up the corporate ladder missing the benefit of networking across. When you network across, says Roxanna, people are more willing to work with and for you. Her palabras inspired particularly when she noted that those 'across networks' usually share in your vision which can take you further than you imagined. 

3. Be Ambicultural - Roxanna shared that a big part of being successful in today's world is being Ambicultural. The word ambicultural is defined as “the ability to functionally transit between Latino cultures and the American, giving them a unique position in the consumer landscape." Roxanna mentioned that if 85% of Latinos identify as Latino-American, that means we naturally have developed the skill of navigating 2 worlds. To navigate today's professional landscape modern Latinos need to utilize this skill to their advantage. 

4. Instead of Getting Mad Get Strategic - Susana G. Baumann was exceptional as she shared her insight. She not only shared her thoughts on branding, event launching and having a strong Latina circle she also shared that making mistakes is necessary to being successful. Susanna believes that instead of getting mad when you make a mistake, you should get strategic. She discussed how making mistakes is what builds your grit. She challenged us to explore if we were resilient or fearful. Her best quote was "learn to manage your fear...life is not linear."

5. Be Diverse with your Network - I told you Roxanna was my favorite because her words reached my soul! Roxanna emphasized the importance of building a strong network that was broad. In other words, we need people in our network that not only believe in our vision and  inspire our growth but also that don't  look like. It’s important that our network come from many different backgrounds. Roxanna shared that although there is value in having other Latina's in your network, branching out and making real life long connections with those that don't look like us will help us grow into the leaders we are meant to be. 

Melissa and I ready to for a night of good food and networking.

It was an honor to be in a room of women such as these. Above all, the focus was on finding what we are passionate about, knowing that our worth is not determined by our work and that standing in our purpose is just as important and helping others. My greatest take away is that the more I learn and grow in my craft, the more I pave the way for the Latinas that come after me.