Black Moms Adopt Too!

““What is the future of transracial adoptions
given the BLM movement?””

““Do you believe that the black adoptive motherhood
has value?””

These are just some of the questions I have been asked over the last several weeks on various podcasts. In July, I answered the question What is the Future of Transracial Adoptions. In it, I shared that “Transracial adoptive parents also need to follow up their love with ACTION. ⁣We can’t rely on our children to hold on to their black culture while we talk about being colorblind. We must see our children’s color, love it, and educate ourselves on what they need to thrive.” 

But one question I have recently been asked in my DM’s and comments is “Do black and Latinx families even adopt, and if so, where are they?” There is a myth out there that black families do not adopt. A myth I believed to be true too. I’m not sure how or when it got started. I believe this has been believed to be true because we are simply not as visible. One of those reasons is because black voices aren’t amplified in a way that brings positivity.

Black and Latinx motherhood matters.

Family holiday shoot!

Jaden and I sporting our fancy rags for our annual photo shoot. He kept making me giggle!

I really needed to do some deep work and go out searching for my tribe. Women, black and brown, just like me, who have adopted and guess what? I found them. Hundreds of us have adapted to navigate trauma, grief, and loss. We know the needs of children of color and we meet them. We work hard to make sure our children are visible and valued in our culture. What we really haven’t had is the space to share these stories in a way that brings value and sheds light on what our transracial adoptive journey looks like. 

The current racial climate in our country has sparked protest, but it also sparked something else. Bold conversations and partnerships in adoption that I have never seen before. This climate called black adoptive moms, like me, out of the woodwork and amplified our voices. We are now sharing bold stories of courage and resilience.

Black + Brown Adoptive Mama’s To Follow:

1. Some of my favorite mamas are on IG! One of them is the lovely Foster While Black an adoptive mom who fosters and shares her truth with zero filter and lots of grace. Over the years, we have walked this social media journey together and it has been so rewarding.

2. My most recent discovery is FAB Moms whose purpose is to create and sustain a community of Black Adoptive Moms who share connections related to race & adoption. At FAB Moms they ENVISION that black women with varying beliefs, values, & experiences will be able to support and learn from one another in a space that centers their experiences.

3. I too created a space for such connection here on the blog but also on my Instagram page @ligiaspeaks where I share my vulnerable, messy, honest take on motherhood, adoption, social justice parenting, and grace. I hope you will join and follow me on there too. 

Our parenting matters and we have much to teach the world. 

So, I became bold, and here’s what I found...black and Latino families adopt too. We have so many things that can help transracially adopted children thrive. We also struggle and in that struggle we find grace. As I connected with other black adoptive parents on IG I learned some valuable lessons:

• Black and Latinx motherhood matters.

• We get home studied, we train and we are assessed too.

• We adopt but somehow our stories aren’t amplified.

• We stepped out in faith and followed our calling too.

• Our parenting matters and we have much to teach the world. 

I  believe that there is a great need for a formalized way for other Black and Latinx adoptive mama’s to curate a safe space to share and support one another in our journeys. I have long since dreamt of a space that allows our voices and stories to be at the center of the conversation, and a place where Black and Brown adoptive moms can retreat to for support, wisdom, and sisterhood. We hope you will join us.

My First Podcast Interview - Multiracial Family Man

Mi gente! I'm really excited to let you know that I was just interviewed on the Multiracial Family Man podcast to discuss my Afro-Latina experience, our multiracial life in the South, and our transracial adoption. It was great fun!!!! I think I over shared a bit, but I’m glad I did. A million thanks to Alex for being a wonderful host! 

You can find the podcast on any of the links below:

iTunes
Libsyn Podcast Network
Stitcher 

Excerpt from the Multiracial Family Man Site: 

"Ep. 158: Ligia Cushman is an Afro-Latina with Dominican roots who grew up in New York City. She is married to a White man, and together they have a multiracial son, whom they adopted. Ligia and her family live in the South, where she is an active advocate in the adoption space.

Listen as she talks to Alex about her Multiracial experience, her views on race and adoption, and how Multiracial experience differs from North to South."

For more on host, Alex Barnett, please check out his website: www.alexbarnettcomic.com or visit him on Facebook or on Twitter.

To subscribe to the Multiracial Family Man, please click here: MULTIRACIAL FAMILY MAN PODCAST

Afro-Latina: Black History Is American History

Peralta Project, NYC

I recently had a mother write to me. Being an adoption professional, I thought it was about her struggles with adoption. That was simply not the case. She was a white mom from the Midwest who shared that at the age of 36 she was reading the works of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. for the first time. I literally had to read that line a few times. Let that soak in. For the first time.  She contacted me realizing that she had been deprived of our full American history growing up. She also had realized that Black history is American history. Her hope was that I somehow could help her discover what to learn so that she, in turn, could change the narrative for her children.

Black history points us to a truth we have often been denied in the classroom. I remember in school learning that the Black American narrative is a lineage of suffering, survival and sacrifice.  It is a story of how a people survived the Ku Klux Klan, domestic terror, and Jim Crow then and now. What I wasn’t taught is that in the midst of that suffering, we see a heritage of grit, resilience, and a purpose to reject the falsehood that Black Americans are insignificant to our American story. Isn’t that what makes the story of America a wonderful tale? We defied the odds by creating a nation whose people had grit, were resilient and had purpose.

The Black American influence on our history is important and is profoundly imprinted in the fabric of America. This cannot be denied.  This is why we cannot simply talk about American history and black history as if they are two separate entities. They are interwoven and forever bonded. But we haven’t gotten that right in our schools, in our homes, in our county. That is why we celebrate and honor Black History Month.  We are tired of our complete American history being tainted and glazed over for far too long. We must do better for ourselves and for children.

Our history is hard. It is often difficult to deny the appalling legacy of slavery and how white supremacy that has been embedded in life in the United States. We can’t deny that it is all around us to this day. All we need to do is turn on the television to see disproportionate mass incarcerations, police violence in Black communities, and even in our nation's acceptance of poverty and poor educational opportunities for families of color.

Why is Black History Month not enough?

President Obama By: Kehindle Wiley

Black Americans have left an incredible imprint on literature, theology, mathematics, science, art, and music, to name a few. To me, celebrating Black History Month is not just about pointing out the systemic woes of our Black brothers and sisters, it can also be about pride, compassion, and understanding the significance of difference. 

It’s great that we celebrate Black History Month every year. However, like the mom who was brave enough to write me and ask for guidance, we need to be stretched in this country. We need to be brave and lean into our true narrative. Celebrating or acknowledging Black history during the shortest month of the year doesn’t let us off the hook. Anyone who turns on the news knows we have a long way to go. My hope is that we will be challenged to dig deeper and embrace a new narrative of inclusivity in the history we make each day.

What can we do?

I have found that education and connection are the key to embracing the narrative about our complex American history. I spend a great deal of time writing and educating others about my own multicultural experience in America.  In a recent blog post entitled, The New South, I address challenges I have experienced while raising our multiracial family in the South. It’s time that we, Americans, embrace that just like my family our history is multiracial too.

There are tons of sites that are dedicated to America’s true history. I recently discovered a wonderful website known as Teaching Tolerance. This is a good resource dedicated to “reduce prejudice, improve intergroup relations and support equitable school experiences for our nation’s children.” What I love about this site is that they offer a quarterly themed magazine with titles like The School to Prison Pipeline, Once Upon a Time in America, and The Dream Deferred, America After the King Years.” Having the tools to have hard conversations about our rich history is critical and Teaching Tolerance does a great job of providing resources and tools that can be used in the home and school.

Michelle Obama By: Amy Sherald

Our history is hard, beautiful and tells the story of a resilient people who never gave up and continue to make history every single day. Michelle Obama said it best, “Though the month of February is set aside to celebrate Black history by remembering the lives of our forebearers who relentlessly sacrificed their lives as martyrs for liberation and the advancement of the Black community, we must not forget that every day in America, Black history is being made. African-Americans have struggled through decades of injustice, and still carry on in that legacy today; yet with persistent resolve and unwavering grit, we continue to shatter the glass ceiling. We must not be confined to a month in telling our stories, but our stories must be told each and every day.“