Black Moms Adopt Too!

““What is the future of transracial adoptions
given the BLM movement?””

““Do you believe that the black adoptive motherhood
has value?””

These are just some of the questions I have been asked over the last several weeks on various podcasts. In July, I answered the question What is the Future of Transracial Adoptions. In it, I shared that “Transracial adoptive parents also need to follow up their love with ACTION. ⁣We can’t rely on our children to hold on to their black culture while we talk about being colorblind. We must see our children’s color, love it, and educate ourselves on what they need to thrive.” 

But one question I have recently been asked in my DM’s and comments is “Do black and Latinx families even adopt, and if so, where are they?” There is a myth out there that black families do not adopt. A myth I believed to be true too. I’m not sure how or when it got started. I believe this has been believed to be true because we are simply not as visible. One of those reasons is because black voices aren’t amplified in a way that brings positivity.

Black and Latinx motherhood matters.

Family holiday shoot!

Jaden and I sporting our fancy rags for our annual photo shoot. He kept making me giggle!

I really needed to do some deep work and go out searching for my tribe. Women, black and brown, just like me, who have adopted and guess what? I found them. Hundreds of us have adapted to navigate trauma, grief, and loss. We know the needs of children of color and we meet them. We work hard to make sure our children are visible and valued in our culture. What we really haven’t had is the space to share these stories in a way that brings value and sheds light on what our transracial adoptive journey looks like. 

The current racial climate in our country has sparked protest, but it also sparked something else. Bold conversations and partnerships in adoption that I have never seen before. This climate called black adoptive moms, like me, out of the woodwork and amplified our voices. We are now sharing bold stories of courage and resilience.

Black + Brown Adoptive Mama’s To Follow:

1. Some of my favorite mamas are on IG! One of them is the lovely Foster While Black an adoptive mom who fosters and shares her truth with zero filter and lots of grace. Over the years, we have walked this social media journey together and it has been so rewarding.

2. My most recent discovery is FAB Moms whose purpose is to create and sustain a community of Black Adoptive Moms who share connections related to race & adoption. At FAB Moms they ENVISION that black women with varying beliefs, values, & experiences will be able to support and learn from one another in a space that centers their experiences.

3. I too created a space for such connection here on the blog but also on my Instagram page @ligiaspeaks where I share my vulnerable, messy, honest take on motherhood, adoption, social justice parenting, and grace. I hope you will join and follow me on there too. 

Our parenting matters and we have much to teach the world. 

So, I became bold, and here’s what I found...black and Latino families adopt too. We have so many things that can help transracially adopted children thrive. We also struggle and in that struggle we find grace. As I connected with other black adoptive parents on IG I learned some valuable lessons:

• Black and Latinx motherhood matters.

• We get home studied, we train and we are assessed too.

• We adopt but somehow our stories aren’t amplified.

• We stepped out in faith and followed our calling too.

• Our parenting matters and we have much to teach the world. 

I  believe that there is a great need for a formalized way for other Black and Latinx adoptive mama’s to curate a safe space to share and support one another in our journeys. I have long since dreamt of a space that allows our voices and stories to be at the center of the conversation, and a place where Black and Brown adoptive moms can retreat to for support, wisdom, and sisterhood. We hope you will join us.

From Blog to Book in 90 Days!

Everyone has a story and writing a book is a great way to share that story. For me, writing a book was always a big dream. Never did I think it would be something I would do in my lifetime. My hope in writing this book was that families struggling with infertility, embracing adoption, or feeling ignored by God know that we have been there and come out on the other side with more than we could have ever hoped for. Our journey through loss to love is one that has shaped my life forever. To be honest my blog was a big part of how I wrote and chronicled my story.

This January will mark the second anniversary of my site. Since launch, my life has evolved into a busy, calling-driven journey. I now write more than I ever have before. Since the launch of the book, I have seen single-handedly how our story impacted the lives of so many others. What I didn’t know was that many of those very stories were already on my blog. That's when I came across a great article that made mention of how smart bloggers are perfectly positioned to become successful authors! That article changed my entire perspective. Could I do it? Could I write a book using a year's worth of content I had already developed?

The New York Times claims that 81 percent of Americans have a book they want to write, but only 3 percent of those people ever write it and of that 3 percent, only 30 percent ever have their book published. If I’m being honest, I wanted to be in the 30 percent that published but what would I write about? When you love to write, there are so many things you want to say. Which story would I share with the world in deep detail?

After researching and using Squarespace analytics to guide me, the answer was easy…our adoption story. I would write the hardest and most beautiful story of my life. At the time many people know how our journey unfolded but far too few knew of the dark days before our adoption. Even fewer know the toll infertility took on my body and soul. I wanted to write an authentic piece about the true struggles of infertility, adoption, and hope in a way that helps others feel validated and heard, while also pointing to the beauty and loss that is adoption.

I’m often asked why I finally decided to go live with my intimate life stories about loss, adoption, infertility, and our multiracial family experiences. It wasn’t an easy decision. It put me in an extremely vulnerable space. It put my family in that same space. However, I have learned that I grow the most when I am genuinely uncomfortable. Writing this book was very uncomfortable and every second was worth it.

This book is about the hardest moments in the life of my family and the biggest lessons we learned along the way. It's the true story of how God stepped into my mess and made it perfect in its time. I hope that our story will help another couple or family step into their purpose of adoption. I’ve been asked by several people to share how I wrote a book so quickly. I smile at this a bit as it wasn’t that quick and started over a year before when I started the blog. However, writing online did allow me to have a great shell that would assist in writing our whole story out. So how did I take my blog and turn it into a book in 90 days?

Here are the top five things I did that helped:

1. Content is Queen: If you are already a blogger, you already have many stories written out so it's a great place to start. I went on a journey through my blog reading story after story of how we became the family we are today. I dug into the stories that needed to be fleshed out and added the difficult details that weren’t already captured. Those led me to larger stories that needed to be included in the book. Many are personal, powerful, and beautiful. I’m excited to have all of you read it! If I’m being honest, there were many nights I had to stop writing to cry and process what I was putting on paper. I hope that as you read it, you are moved as well. As I mentioned previously, my analytics on Squarespace tracked my most viewed blog posts and they revealed that my readers resonated with our adoption story.

2. Family First: When I finally decided what to write my first book about, I sat down with my husband and son. You see, I was about to share some really difficult stories about our past with the world. Some of the adoption stories our son didn’t even know himself. What I loved most about writing this book is that it made me intentional about sharing stories with him that he wasn’t aware of but was ready to hear. Boy, did he ask some tough questions! It gave me time to ask his permission before I shared his life story with the world. I think we made good decisions in what was made public and what remained private.

3. Book Design: I knew the design, layout, and cover of the book needed to resonate with my audience but also spoke to me. I knew I couldn’t trust anyone but Heath Cushman, my brilliant designer husband to bring my vision to life. One of the best parts about writing this book is that it’s a labor of love for our son that we both got to take part in creating. The last several months before the book launch, hubby and I sat in our loft at our respective desks and deliberated over what fonts, layout choices, and the cover would look like. We were intentional about blocking off time each week for writing and designing. He focused on every detail. It wasn’t until our trip to California in April 2018 when we visited my brother Alex Medina that I grabbed my iPhone and snapped one simple image of our boy facing the Pacific Ocean. I knew then that it was the book cover. The minute I shared it with Heath he said, “This is it!” When it came to the font, we knew we wanted something new, clean, and modern. We finally landed on the beauty that is Bison. Purchasing this font was a great investment. Not only were we able to use it throughout the book, but we have also been able to reuse it for other projects. Once the font was purchased we were off to work on designing the layout. I know I’m biased but visually the book is a beauty.

4. Promoting: The biggest lesson I learned while pouring my life into this book was about marketing. I'm still new at promoting my book but I find myself growing in this area every day. Did you know that the best time to promote your book is before it's even written? Yup! I called my good friend Alison Little of Visual Uprising for some advice. Alison is a brilliant creative and has a strong social media presence. I wanted to share my vision was for the book and pick her brain a bit. While chatting for over an hour about our kids and her life in her beautiful country home in Virginia she told me “Decide where you want to take your audience and then take them there.” Those words still guide how I write and connect with my readers today. Once the book launched I knew my network of creatives, family and curators would share the book… and that changed everything. I truly believe that having a strong support system makes all the difference when self-publishing your book. My network not only read my book, bought it, and reviewed it but they also shared it on their social media platforms. It was a great way for others to find my book. Who knew that just 12 months later my book would be named one of the Best New Adoption Books To Read In 2020 by Book Authority!

5. Editing: I knew I needed a professional editor that would take the time to review my written work, give constructive feedback and respond promptly. After much research, I decided to partner with Upwork. “Upwork is the leading freelancing website where businesses find and work with top freelance marketers, designers, developers, editors, and other professionals.” The process was simple. I posted the job and waited for editing freelancers to reach out. After just two days, I found the person I wanted to work with and the results were great! After I had been so careful, what I didn’t expect is that he would find a duplicate chapter in my book! I took a 2-week hiatus from writing to clear my head. Where would I get more content from? What would I share in a whole new chapter? It took me a couple of weeks, but I regrouped and got back to writing. This motivated me to write a whole new chapter on where we are now and how our story changed my profession.

This project is a personal account of our journey for our son. Every word honestly connects our pain and joy. It's stitched together by my sweet husband as a love letter to our son. Although I was nervous to put my story into the world I'm so glad that I did! I'm encouraged every time a family struggling with infertility, embracing adoption, or feeling ignored by God reaches out after having read the book to tell me “This is the book I was waiting for.” Our journey through the loss to get to love is one that has shaped my life forever. I hope it will do the same for you.

Order your copy today on Amazon. Our story is waiting.

Best Adoption Blogs of 2020 - Healthline Parenthood

OMG! How is this real life! Many, many thanks to Healthline Parenthood for listing my blog as one of the best adoption blogs of 2020! Who knew our story of loss and love would resonate with so many! Thank you to everyone that has been a part of this journey.

Best Adoption Blogs of 2020